Confirmation marks a unique moment in a person’s life when one is invited to grow in faith and, through the power of the Holy Spirit, embrace a new maturity where all that has gone before takes on richer and deeper meaning further forming one as a faithful disciple, grateful steward and active evangelist of the Risen Christ.

Sacrament of Confirmation

Confirmation in the faith

Confirmation celebrates the coming of the Holy Spirit. In the Acts of the Apostles chapter 2, verses 1 to 13, we read of the Apostles receiving the Holy Spirit. They had been hiding after Jesus’ death, afraid and uncertain. The coming of the Holy Spirit with his gifts inspired them and enabled them to take the step of preaching the good news.

We are made members of God’s family at Baptism. At Confirmation, our Baptism is completed or “sealed” by the Holy Spirit and we are called to be Christian witnesses, just like the apostles. The whole of our Christian living and the life of the Church, too, are sustained by the same Spirit.

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Who Can Receive?

Any baptised Catholic wishing to advance on the path of developing their faith. For young people, this is usually part of the 5th/6th class primary school programme.

For adults who were not confirmed as children, it means taking part in the Rite of the Christian Initiation of Adults (R.C.I.A.)

Sponsor

A sponsor stands behind the candidate for Confirmation at the Confirmation ceremony and places their hand on the shoulder of the candidate as a sign that they will support them in living out their baptismal promises. However, the role of the sponsor is not just for one day. The sponsor undertakes to assist the confirmed person in growing in the fullness of their faith and in their membership of the Catholic Church. A person qualifies as a sponsor by being a reasonably mature adult, who is at least 16 years old, and has already received the Sacraments of Initiation, (Baptism, Confirmation and Eucharist) themselves. The Confirmation sponsor may be one of the people who was a sponsor at Baptism (subject to the notes here).

Choosing a sponsor

(Ref. Code of Canon Law 874) To be admitted to undertake the office of sponsor, a person must:

Be appointed by the candidate, or by the parents or whoever stands in their place, the person must be suitable for this role and have the intention of fulfilling it

Be not less than sixteen years of age, unless a different age has been stipulated by the diocesan Bishop, or unless the parish priest or the minister considers that there is a just reason for an exception to be made

Be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has received the blessed Eucharist, and who lives a life of faith which befits the role to be undertaken

Not be either the father or the mother of the candidate.

Name

The tradition of taking a new name at Confirmation emphasises the new identity of a Christian being called to witness to their faith. People are encouraged to take the name of a saint or a person from the Bible who inspires them in some way.

Oil

The oil used is called the Oil of Chrism. It is olive oil mixed with balsam that is blessed by the bishop and priests of the diocese in the Cathedral at the ‘Chrism Mass’ on Holy Thursday. The Sacrament is conferred with the anointing with this ‘Oil of Chrism’ on the forehead as the Bishop says, ‘Be sealed with the gifts of the Holy Spirit’.

Preparation for First Holy Communion

Not only is it an important year in the life of your child, it is also an important year for their class, their teachers, and also for you the parents/guardians. It is also a special time too for the parish community. Your child’s faith journey began the day you brought your child to the Church to be baptised. And what a specialday that was for you and the family. Now that child has grown they are about to take another step in their faith journey, as they prepare for First Holy Communion. And we all have a part to play.

While the Home is the primary learning place, each parent/guardian will be asked to take on a special role over the next few months, to journey with your child as they prepare to receive the sacraments, as there is only so much that can be taught in school. Our teachers do a wonderful job in preparing the children for their special day, but ‘home is where the heart is’. And the home is the domestic Church, where our children are influenced by what they see and learn.

As part of our preparation for First Penance and First Holy Communion, we run in tandem a parish based programme, ‘Do this in Memory’. This programme is a continuous programme, connecting the classroom with the home and the parish. As part of the programme, there is an Information Night, (where we meet the parents), an Enrolment Ceremony for you and your child, and there are four Sundays set aside where you and your child will have some participation in the Sunday Mass. It is also hoped that you and your child will frequent mass regularly as your child prepares for this special day.

What Is ‘The Sacrament of Reconciliation’?

The Sacrament of Penance is also known as the ‘Sacrament of Reconciliation’ or traditionally called ‘Confession’. It is the rite by which sins are confessed and forgiven. Sin is failure to recognise and love God in the way we think or act. Sin is also not just a failure to love God directly but also a failure to love one another. This is referred to as “the community sense of sin”.

Absolution

In this sacrament people are forgiven their sins by the words and actions of the priest. We call this ‘Absolution’. The priest represents God and the community who is affected by sin and the priest minister’s forgiveness on behalf of God and the community.

Forms of Celebration

The sacrament can be celebrated in a one-to-one encounter with a priest: this is known as ‘individual confession’. Many parishes also organise ‘Penitential Services’ at special times; e.g. Advent, Lent and Parish Missions. In this form of celebration, which is communal, people prepare as a community and many priests hear the confessions individually and people receive absolution individually.

Penance

Reconciliation

Penance is a sign of sorrow and a commitment to try to make amends. It is also a sign of our sincerity to change our lives. This is what is meant by conversion. When the Sacrament is a communal celebration, the penance is said as a community, once all have had the opportunity to confess. When celebrated in the traditional one-to-one form, a penance is given, and the person takes on that penance privately.

Reflection on the Sacrament of God’s Unconditional Love

Reconcilliation

The Parable of the Prodigal Son is a great preparation for reconciliation it gives us a wonderful insight to, the Father.

The parable begins with a young man, the younger of two sons, who asks his father to give him his share of the estate. The implication is the son could not wait for his father's death for his inheritance, he wanted it immediately. The father agrees and divides his estate between both sons.

Upon receiving his portion of the inheritance, the younger son travels to a distant country and wastes all his money in extravagant living. Immediately thereafter, a famine strikes the land; he becomes desperately poor and is forced to take work as a swineherd. (This, too, would have been abhorrent to Jesus' Jewish audience, who considered swine unclean animals.) When he reaches the point of envying the food of the pigs he is watching, he finally comes to his senses:

But when he came to himself, he said, "How many hired servants of my fathers have bread enough to spare, and I'm dying with hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and will tell him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight. I am no more worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired servants.'" He arose and came to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him, and was moved with compassion, and ran towards him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. (Luke 15:17–20)

This implies the father was hopefully watching for the son's return.

The son does not even have time to finish his rehearsed speech, since the father calls for his servants to dress him in a fine robe, a ring, and sandals, and slaughter the "fattened calf" for a celebratory meal.

The older son, who was at work in the fields, hears the sound of celebration, and is told about the return of his younger brother. He is not impressed and becomes angry. He also has a speech for his father:

But he answered his father, "Behold, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed a commandment of yours, but you never gave me a goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this, your son, came, who has devoured your living with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him." Luke 15:29–30, World English Bible

The parable concludes with the father explaining that because the younger son had returned, in a sense, from the dead, celebration was necessary:

"But it was appropriate to celebrate and be glad, for this, your brother, was dead, and is alive again. He was lost and is found." — Luke 15:32,

Daniel O’Leary in his book ‘An Astonishing Secret’, quotes Richard Rohr, Richard ‘Insists, ‘that God never changes his mind about us. He is simply always in love with us. What God does, again and again, is to change our mind about him. We are not forgiven because we confess our sins; we confess our sins because we are already forgiven.

Rohr does not take sin lightly; but for him God’s love is always at the heart of our weakness, our powerlessness, our constant vulnerability. And the Sacrament of Reconciliation enables us to forever remember that the irresistible divine love that transforms our hearts must always lead to our generous forgiveness of everyone in our own lives.

Marriage 

Fixing the Date

When you have chosen a date and found a hotel/restaurant that can accommodate you on that date, do not offer any deposit until you have also checked that the church in which you would like your wedding to be celebrated is also available.

What Kind of Service?

There are two kinds of Marriage Service – both of which are entirely reasonable choices. One is where the Marriage Sacrament takes place during Mass.

The other is where the Marriage Sacrament takes place without the Mass (with Readings from Scripture, Marriage Vows, Prayers of Intercession, Blessings, etc).

The choice of service should be made in the light of the personal faith circumstances of bride and groom. Most Catholics will choose to have their marriage within a Nuptial Mass.

However, where one of the parties is not Roman Catholic or a non‐believer, the marriage ceremony without the Mass may be more appropriate.

It is important to talk this decision over with your families and with the priest who will officiate.

Church Requirements – Pre-Marriage Papers

Every couple marrying in the Catholic Church is required to give a minimum of three months notice to their priest, (i.e., the Bride to her priest and the Groom to his priest).

Many couples think the only document they need is what’s called "A Letter of Freedom" – this is not so!

The following documents are required:

MarriageThe Bride

1. A Baptismal Certificate, from the church where you were baptised, issued within six months of the date of the wedding.

2. A Confirmation Certificate from the parish where you were confirmed.

3. If you have lived in any parish, other than your current one, for six months or more since you reached the age of 18, you will need to get a Letter of Freedom from these parishes also.

4. A certificate of completion of a recognised Pre‐Marriage Course.

Give these documents to the priest of your parish and fill out the Prenuptial Enquiry Form with him.

MarriageThe Groom

1. A Baptismal Certificate, from the church where you were baptised, issued within six months of the date of the wedding.

2. A Confirmation Certificate from the parish where you were confirmed.

3. If you have lived in any parish, other than your current one, for six months or more, since you reached the age of 18, you will need to get a Letter of Freedom from these parishes also.

You then give these documents to the priest of your current parish and he will fill out the Pre‐nuptial Enquiry Form with you. When complete, he will send all documents to the priest of your fiancé’s parish.

Couples Living Abroad

In the case of couples living abroad, the priest in the parish of your residence will complete your Pre‐Nuptial Enquiry Form and will forward it to the local bishop who in turn will send it to the bishop's office here in Kilkenny.

Address: Ossory Diocesan Office, James Street, Kilkenny.

Inter-Church or Inter-Faith Marriages

When Catholics wish to marry a Christian of another denomination, or a person of another faith, or none, he/she must ask for a Dispensation from his/her local bishop. Your priest can facilitate this process.

State Requirements

Meet a Civil Registrar at least three months before the wedding to give notice of your intention to marry. Make an appointment by calling or writing beforehand.

You may notify any of the many Civil Registration Offices in the state.

The address of the Kilkenny office is:

Civil Registration Office County Clinic

James Street

Kilkenny

T. 056‐778 4600

You must take the following documents to the Registrar:

- Photo Identity, e.g. original passports (both parties), plus photocopies of same.

Utility bill for both parties, plus photocopies of same (as proof of address).

Names and dates of birth of both witnesses.

Name of the church in which you will marry.

Name of the priest (the ‘solemniser’) who will officiate.

PPS Number (both parties).

The prescribed Fee (Ring the Civil Registration Office to clarify the Fee).

Please note: If the priest (solemniser) who is to officiate at your wedding is a visiting priest from outside the Republic of Ireland, make sure he is a Registered Solemniser in the Republic, otherwise he may not be able to celebrate the ceremony.

If in doubt, consult your local priest, or visit www.gro.ie (General Register’s Office) which contains lots of useful information and the list of registered solemnisers.

When all the civil requirements have been completed satisfactorily, you will receive a Marriage Registration Form (MRF) from the registrar.

It is essential to remember that without presenting this form before your wedding to the priest (solemniser), he is not legally permitted to perform the ceremony and the wedding will not take place.

You are also required to make a verbal declaration of No Civil Impediment not more than two days beforehand. It is recommended practice that this declaration is made at the beginning of the wedding, when the bride and groom arrive at the sanctuary.

If you are preparing a Marriage Booklet you might include the declaration at the beginning of the ceremony. The officiating priest (solemniser) will put the following question to the bride and groom in turn:

Do you declare that you do not know of any civil impediment to the marriage you are about to enter with ________ (name)?

After the ceremony, it is the couple’s responsibility to return the signed Marriage Registration Form (MRF) to the Civil Registrar’s Office within one month of the date of the wedding.

Pre - Marriage Courses

Marriage

Marriage is for life.

If you’re going into something which you want to last for life, a time of reflection and preparation is time well spent.

This is why you are required to take part in a Pre‐marriage Course. As there are so many seeking places on these courses, it is necessary to book six to nine months in advance.

Here in Kilkenny, pre‐marriage courses are provided by ACCORD.

Their office is located St Mary's Centre, James Street, Kilkenny.

T: 056‐772 2674; E: accord@ossory.ie

Details of all the ACCORD centres in the country, and the courses they offer, can be found at www.accord.ie

Punctuality

Brides, please be on time for your wedding!

There is no ‘commandment’ at weddings saying ‘thou shalt not be punctual’.

Being late is discourteous to your groom, your families, your guests and to church personnel.

Be aware that if you arrive at the church on time, you will be actually ten minutes late arriving at the altar. This is because you may have to pose for some photographs; organise your entourage for the entrance procession, etc.

The Wedding Mass

The priest celebrating your Wedding Mass will help you choose readings, prayers and The Rite of Marriage. It is good to involve others in the ceremony, e.g., readings, prayers, etc.

MarriageFlowers - Confetti

Flowers are used for their beauty and the promise of abundant life. They should be tastefully arranged and not obscure the Altar or the Ambo.

The use of confetti in the church or in the church grounds is strictly prohibited.

MarriageMusic

The music you choose for your wedding ceremony should be in keeping with the sacred character of the occasion.It is the responsibility of the couple to provide their own musicians, etc. Where at all possible, hymns that the congregation (your guests) can join in are recommended.

Non‐Sacred songs (e.g. your favourite love songs) should not be used during the religious ceremony.

Such favourite songs could be used during the signing of the Marriage Registration Form after the wedding, or at the reception.

“In recent years certain types of love songs have been creeping in to weddings which, though perfectly suitable for the reception afterwards, are not suitable in the Church”. ( Christian Marriage – Preparation and Celebration. The Irish Episcopal Conference).

Photography & Videography

(Please give a photocopy of this section to your photographer and videographer.)

Signing the Marriage Registration Form

The register to be signed is the civil register and is not part of the Church ceremony. For that reason, we recommend that it be signed after the church ceremony has ended.

Please remember that the signed Marriage Registration Form (MRF) will be handed to you after the ceremony and it is your responsibility to forward this to the Registrar of Marriages within one month of the wedding day.

Marriages Abroad

Couples should make contact with a priest from their parish before making any arrangements for their wedding abroad. This should be done at least six months prior to the intended date for the wedding.

Weddings in Rome for Irish couples (both bearing Irish Passports) are usually straightforward to arrange. They normally take place at The Pontifical Irish College, +39 06 7726 31 (www.irishcollege.org); or with the Irish Pallottine Fathers, +39 06 69771 21; or with the Irish Augustinian Friars, +39 06 42031 21. Weddings can be booked by contacting any of the above-named communities.

They will forward you practical information on getting married in Rome. The paperwork is completed in the usual manner and forwarded by the bride’s local priest to the local bishop's office. The bishop will issue a Certificate of No Impediment, also known as Nulla Osta, and in turn will forward the papers to Rome.

However, take note of the civil requirement of the Italian State Authorities who insist that you apply to the Consular Division of the Department of Foreign Affairs in Dublin for a civil Nulla Osta certificate. The application forms for this certificate should be completed and returned to the Department of Foreign Affairs at least ten weeks before the marriage date in Rome, allowing time for the Department to process the application and forward the Certificate through the Irish Embassy to the church in Rome.

Marriages taking place outside of Ireland, other than in Rome, are subject to strict stipulation by most dioceses. The couple should first contact their local priest.

As you make plans for the happiest day of your life, remember this is a day that should be stress free – a day to be enjoyed. Therefore, any time spent in the planning of this day is time well spent. So, with the choices you make and the options you take, may we wish you a truly memorable and perfect day.

Marriage readings